An approach to Conflict Resolution

It is an unfortunate truth that conflict is an inevitable part of life (no matter how much we might try to avoid it). This is especially true in work environments where the necessity of collaboration naturally clashes with differing worldviews, communication styles, and conscious/unconscious biases. Conflict is difficult and inconvenient when encountered in one’s private life, but in a business setting, where time is literally money, it can be detrimental.

Ongoing, unresolved conflict kills morale. It directly contributes to the disintegration of trust within a team, leading to worsening communication and misunderstandings. This, naturally, can cause a drop in revenue, as time that could be used to further a project or goal must now be spent resolving the issues and disagreements that are a result of miscommunication. Conflict has also been linked to elevated stress levels and health problems such as migraines, depression, and blood pressure complications (just to name a few). Physical health issues mean people are calling out, having to cut their work loads, or delivering a subpar product. Finally, if a conflict becomes great enough, clients and customers may even become aware of it, causing harm to a company’s public image. After all, why should people trust you with their business if your team cannot function as a cohesive unit?

Perhaps your first instinct as an employer or manager is to simply fire the offending parties. But, again, this causes issues. Both time and money are lost back filling the position. Tasks have to be distributed out to other people, and the inevitable learning curve and training period for the new replacement contributes to the cost as well. During the pandemic The National Interest reported that The Center for American Progress calculated that the cost of just replacing workers who earned an average of $30,000 a year was 16% of their annual salary. In some cases, where employees offered a specialized skill related to their field, the cost was even higher.

Additionally, if a former employee sues for wrongful termination, a company can be looking at paying huge sums in legal fees.

So how do you, as an employer or manager, solve the problem of conflict within your organization?

Prevention

Conflict is inevitable. But not all conflict.

Most instances can be mitigated and resolved before becoming an actual issue by implementing a combination of factors.

#1 - Improve the work environment.

The most important thing to do is establish an environment that encourages open and honest communication. Sometimes difficult conversations need to be had within teams, and you, as a supervisor and leader, should be able to encourage these discussions while making it clear that the work is separate from the worker, that corrections are not personal attacks, and that compromise is not a competition. By establishing this type of environment, employees are more likely to resolve issues between themselves in a productive way, without needing the intervention of upper management.

A way you can help establish this type of work environment is by leading by example. Don’t be afraid to take correction in stride or to admit when you’re wrong. Be willing to accept compromise when it benefits the team and invite collaboration and personal improvement in every situation.

#2 - Encourage trust between yourself and your employees.

The best way to do this, is to engage in active listening. Remember what your employees tell you, and actually engage in conversation when you are with them, instead of just passively listening. You are by no means required to become best friends with all of your subordinates, but being able to remember their loved one’s names or their hobbies subtly indicates that, if you are willing to listen to them when it’s unimportant, you will be much more attentive when it is.

Additionally, make sure you use discernment when disclosing sensitive information. There is nothing wrong with mentioning to another employee who likes dogs. It is, however, unethical to go into detail with your subordinates about a personal issue another employee found necessary to confide in you. Such discussion is gossip, and is a surefire way to shatter an employee’s trust.

Part of being a manager or employer is being able to publicly put your personal feelings aside for the greater good. You need to be able to separate the work from the worker. If you personally dislike a subordinate the feelings you express about them publicly should range from positive to (at the very worst) completely neutral. It is your responsibility as the first line of communication when things go awry, to demonstrate an unbiased attitude with your employees, and not bring a negative attitude into the workplace.

#3 - Watch out for the warning signs.

This usually manifests in body language. Watch how members of your team interact. If someone exhibits signs of discomfort, resentment, or annoyance when working with a peer, address it as soon as possible. Find a moment to speak with the employee away from others to create a safe space to address the interaction and ask for clarification. It might just be a misunderstanding, but calling out the behavior is the first step in learning more. If conflict truly exists, this is a time to bring it to the surface and start to resolve it.

It might end up being nothing. Your employee might just be having a bad day, and that’s okay. But if it does turn out to be something, make sure you remain neutral while listening to their explanation. Don’t make excuses for the other party and don’t try to demonize them to make the offended party feel better. The issue is the situation, not the person, and that should be the focus of the conversation. Once you have an appropriate amount of information, thank them for their honesty, tell them you will take steps to resolve the situation, and that you will be discreet in dealing with it.

The next thing you should do is speak to the other party involved and get their side of the story. Each person has their over version of events and the truth (inevitably) lies somewhere in the middle. Again, make sure you are not in an overtly public environment, and ask what happened. An example of an opener might be:

“Hey, I saw X interaction between you and Y, and then Z happened. Can you tell me some more about what’s going on there?”

Keep it simple, stick to the facts, and avoid framing the conversation in a leading way. In general, people do not go out of their way to be actively malicious unless they feel provoked to do so.

Sometimes these minor conflicts can be resolved with a few private conversations, other times you have to bring them together, with yourself acting as an impartial moderator, so they can talk through the issue. Treat these interactions as learning experiences and a chance for betterment on all fronts. Issue corrections with consideration and respect, and focus on guiding your employees to a mutual understanding of the facts.

Response

Now, suppose you missed the warning signs. That’s okay. Sometimes some people are better at masking these issues than others, or maybe things were too busy and you didn’t become aware of them until it was too late. Or maybe a conflict you’ve been trying to mitigate has continued to grow. What do you do now?

#1 - Separation.

Your first responsibility is to diffuse the situation. And the best way to do that is to eliminate the possibility of escalation. Separate the conflicting parties. The level of separation can vary depending on the intensity of the conflict. Maybe it’s just in a different place in the room, maybe it’s in a different room entirely, and sometimes the solution is to send them home.

This separation is also a time for you to step aside and assess how you’re doing. Frustration, especially in cases of repeated conflict, is natural, but if you are upset or angry you are not in a position to mediate anything. Take a moment to recenter yourself after you’ve eliminated the possibility of further escalation.

#2 - Get the full story.

Talk to each of them, one-on-one, in a safe place, and find out exactly what is going on. Again, don’t approach a conversation with loaded or confrontational questions. A simple: “What happened?” will suffice.

It might take a bit of back and forth to get enough information. It is not unheard of to have to have several back to back alternating interviews between the people involved before you know enough to proceed. But the more information you have, the better your understanding of the situation is, and the better prepared you will be to resolve it.

#3 - Hash it out.

Before you bring people to develop a solution, you must first have a good grasp of the facts and a roadmap to drive group communications in a calm environment.

Never try to resolve a conflict while tempers are still high. The conversation you’re going to have with them will be difficult and despite your best efforts there is a possibility that tempers might flare, people might get defensive, and feelings will get hurt. It is best to approach such situations with everyone at as close to a calm baseline as possible. Sometimes it will only take a few minutes to reach this point, sometimes longer. Exercise discernment when determining how long to enforce separation (remembering to take yourself into account) and openly communicate the reasons for any delay in resolution and when exactly you will be convening to work through the situation.

When discussing the problem ensure that each person has an opportunity to speak and express themselves without interruption from the opposing party. Keep the conversation streamlined and focused, and remember that you are here to discuss the situation, not to critique the personalities of the people involved.

#4 - Follow up.

Once a solution is reached, whether through collaboration or compromise, it is important that you, as the person in charge, follow-up with your employees. An initial resolution might have been found, but it is your responsibility to check in and continue to be proactive in solving the problem. Conflict resolution is an ongoing task, not a one-and-done item to check off a to-do list.

Typically, you will want to check in one-on-one with each of them after a few days, but, again, exercise some discernment in when it would be appropriate to follow-up. Maybe the situation is severe enough that it calls for earlier and more frequent check-ins. When you do this, remind each party that you are ready and willing to listen should something else come up or the situation change. Be willing to be flexible during the maintenance stage of conflict resolution. The relationship between the two parties might not be perfect, but if they are willing to demonstrate that they can reach a level of understanding and respect for the one another then occasional check-ins and adjustments should be enough maintenance to keep the peace and encourage productivity and cohesion.

#5 - Reflect.

After every conflict, and each step involved in correcting it, take some time to reflect on what happened. Ask yourself: What did I do right? What did I do wrong? What worked, but could have been executed better? What signs did I miss? What could I have done differently?

Self reflection is one of the most important steps in conflict resolution. You should always treat such situations as a learning experience. No matter how prepared you might be, the actual execution of a conflict resolution strategy will almost never play out exactly as you would like. It is easy to read a guide and feel confident in yourself but people can unknowingly serve you the most spectacular curve balls you will ever encounter. So some introspection will only help better prepare you for future interactions, particularly if they are recurring.

What if I mess up and escalate the conflict?

Take a deep breath. The role of mediator and moderator is a challenging one and, as mentioned in the Prevention section of this article, you are human too. That being said, bungling your role in resolving a conflict is a big mistake and one that takes a lot of work to come back from. But it is not impossible.

#1 - Apologize.

It does not matter that you are the person in charge, if you make a mistake you need to apologize. Ignoring your error (or denying that it happened at all) makes you look silly in the best case and inept in the worst.

Promptly swallowing your pride and admitting when you are in the wrong will actually encourage trust with your employees. It shows that you are capable of self reflection and that you are willing to deal with the source of the problem, even if that source is you.

#2 - Follow through.

An apology is a good start, but it means nothing if you are not willing to follow through on the promises associated with it. Once you have admitted that what you did was wrong, you have to be willing to take the steps to reestablish trust and ensure the line of communication stays open. This set back can make it difficult to resolve a conflict, and you might have to get additional people involved in coming to a solution, but, again, demonstrating that you are willing to work for a cause, will reflect well on you in the long run.

How do I best prepare for all of this?

The steps laid out in this article are only one approach to conflict resolution. There are hundreds and thousands of courses, classes, modules, and articles with different approaches to resolving such issues within a team. A popular one, for example, is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which uses a test and a sliding scale to determine how employees approach conflict and what technique is best used to resolve it on a case-by-case basis.

Most companies do not have a go-to conflict resolution model they follow and employees might not be aware of who to go to with concerns. Managers also might not know what tools are available to help with conflict in their teams. In order to ensure better conflict resolution and improve the work environment, employers should find a go-to resolution model that is appropriate for the work environment. Establish regular training to equip managers, and let employees know the training is in place for their benefit. By taking a proactive approach, it communicates your dedication to a collaborative, creative, and conscious approach to conflict resolution.